Receiving a Message from Someone Who Passed: What to Expect
Preparing emotionally for receiving a posthumous message from a loved one. Understanding the experience and how these messages help with grief.
Receiving a message from someone who has passed away is a profound experience. Whether expected or surprising, these messages carry immense emotional weight. Here's what to know about receiving posthumous messages.
The Moment of Receiving
When you receive a posthumous message through LastSend, you'll get an email with a private link to a memorial page. This isn't like receiving a normal email - take a moment before opening it.
Find the Right Time and Place
Don't open it while commuting or in a meeting. Find a private, comfortable space where you can experience your emotions freely.
Have Support Available
Consider having a trusted friend or family member nearby, or at least reachable by phone.
There's No Rush
The message will wait. If you're not ready, that's okay. Open it when you feel prepared.
What the Experience is Like
Recipients of posthumous messages describe varied experiences:
Initial Overwhelm
Seeing your loved one's words, hearing their voice, or watching their video can be intensely emotional. Tears are natural and healthy.
Comfort and Connection
After the initial wave, many describe feeling closer to their loved one. The message creates a moment of connection that transcends death.
Answers to Unasked Questions
Many find that the message addresses things they'd wondered about - whether they were loved, whether they made their loved one proud.
Something to Return To
Unlike a funeral that happens once, a posthumous message can be revisited. Many recipients watch or read the message multiple times over years.
How Posthumous Messages Help Grief
Grief experts note several ways these messages support healing:
Continuing Bonds
Modern grief theory recognizes that maintaining a connection with deceased loved ones is healthy. Posthumous messages facilitate this connection.
Explicit Closure
Many people struggle with things left unsaid. When your loved one addresses you directly, it provides closure that might otherwise never come.
Permission to Heal
Often, posthumous messages include explicit permission to be happy, to move on, to live fully. This permission can be transformative for someone stuck in grief.
Concrete Keepsake
The message becomes a tangible (though digital) keepsake that can be revisited during difficult moments or anniversaries.
For Those Creating Messages
If you're considering creating posthumous messages for your loved ones, understanding what recipients experience can guide your writing:
Be Explicit About Love
Recipients want to hear it clearly. "I love you" matters more than eloquence.
Address Common Grief Questions
Were you proud of them? Did they make you happy? Answer these directly.
Give Permission
Explicitly tell them it's okay to grieve, and okay to eventually heal and find happiness.
Include Lightness Too
A moment of humor or a happy memory balances the heavy emotion and reminds them of who you really were.
Preserving the Message
Posthumous messages are precious. Consider:
- Saving the memorial page link somewhere safe
- Taking screenshots or screen recordings as backup
- Sharing with other family members when appropriate
- Returning to it on anniversaries or when you need connection
A Final Gift
Receiving a posthumous message is receiving a final gift - proof that even in their final planning, your loved one thought of you. It's one of the most meaningful things one person can leave another.
If you've received such a message, know that someone loved you enough to prepare for a moment they'd never see - the moment you'd read their words. That love endures.
If you want to create this gift for your own loved ones, LastSend makes it simple. Start today and give them something they'll treasure forever.